Some advising regarding life

Introduction |Generic | Conclusion


As always, every generalization is false; being it only which what I will tell applies to most people and situations of that kind which I could experience. They are phrases I created myself, with an explanation about their origin; and when I used a phrase from someone else I will mention this fact. It is a great mistake to think which only famous people have something useful to say, what will say if it is useful or not is not social ranking but actually yourself after analyzing a phrase. You must feel the message a phrase contain in your heart, if you cannot feel it it is because you still have not enough life experience to understand a specific phrase. Some are easier to understand, while others not.


"The middle path is the best path" - Let us not be naive: Life in earth have its good moments but also a lot of bad moments. If you are too good you are considered a fool by many people, while if you are too selfish you are considered an evil person. The best path is being both and being none, the middle path, neutrality. Do not feel sad because you cannot achieve unreal criterions of "sanctity" but do not feel pleasure in being evil. Try to balance things aiming the best both for you and other people.

"The friend of my enemies is also my enemy" - When someone is more friend of who offended you than your friend, such a person will side with who offended you and not you when a major disagreement happens. Even if you had done nothing wrong against them, as you are not their main friendship they easily forget anything you had done for them. You do not need people agreeing with everything you do or say, but at least most of it to have stability, someone who is more your friend.

"It is given what is received, and received what is given" - Religion suggests which you should feel "bad" for "paying in the same coin" as it is said, which you should "give the other side of your face and forgive instead". In real life that rarely work and the one most harmed will be you. If someone does no respect you, you have no obligation to respect that person; if the person does not return the time you use with it, do not spend your time with such a person. Simple. If you want to forgive, forgive for your sake and not because of others.

"Do not give gifts before better knowing someone" - I already gifted a lot of people who in the end did not deserved it, gifts made with care and which left people amazed. After the first real conflict that meant nothing and they abandoned me, and none never gave me any present even when they "liked" me. So, only gift close friends.

"Be careful with people who are too gentle with you even without a deep friendship, they can have a hidden agenda" - Usually people who are too caring will be most cruel when you do not do what they want.

"Do not be a mere supporting actress in the life of someone, do not accept crumbles. Only accept people for who you are one of the main actresses of their lives" - By surrounding yourself with people who really talk and care about you constantly, you will be using your time more wisely. Others will for small things abandon you no matter what you did for them.

"Rather be alone than in bad company" - Unknown actor - Do not think which you have the obligation to have many friends, which that would be what "normal" and "successful" people would do. If in doubt about someone, many times it is better to remain alone.

"Know when to rest" - If you do not forget to sometimes stop or at least decrease your speed, you will eventually face a physical and mental collapse. With time you will learn to balance activity with rest.

"Gentleness does not equals to dumbness" - Before helping someone blindly as religion usually demans you to, analyze with care that person: Some are actually evil people who do not deserve any help, others in their indifference will receive the help but will not do the same for you or others, a waste of your time. Being a little wiser will avoid you many problems, help only those who you can at least be mostly sure which they deserve and will continue the chain of gentleness.

"Give with a hand while you keep a hidden closed fist in case you need" - People usually mistake those most gentle with "prey" to be attacked; be prepared to defend yourself before helping. Be careful.

"People have the bad habit of demanding from others what they themselves do not do" - Only do for others what they do for you. If you want to be gentle to someone who is disrespectful, be aware which that may as well be a big waste of your time.

"Do not argue with idiots, they will bring you to their level and will win by experience" - unknown author - Unlikeable people will create negative things in what you speak or write, will distort or amplify flaws which you have. They are experts in making people lose their minds, and with anger your writting and speech will start to show ambiguities and that lead to errors which are a full dinner to people such as those. Ignore them, and if needed, take a legal action against them.

"People will not admit their own errors, but will say you have all the errors in the world when you defy them" - People are that way. Do not believe everything they say, ask yourself if such a person is not also full or errors, and only accept what you feel is useful for your self-improvement. Do not let their negativity become your negativity.

"It is given what one's heart is full" - People full of hatred will manifest hatred in many forms such as their body language, speech and behavior. A good person will manifest the opposite. Avoid friendships with negative people, sooner or later it will spray over you. Paying attention to that is a good way to know what really is under the surface of someone.

"Avoid friendship with famous people" - Famous people already have everything or at least believe themselves to have, and your friendship will hardly have any value to people such as those.

"Avoid friendship where it is not clear why the person like you" - If the friendship is not due to enough similar interests, the person much likely is your friend because they want something out of it: Sex, advantages and so on.

"To belong to a minority does not make anyone a saint" - Morbid obesity? Blindness? down's syndrome? Autism? That does not change the fact which it is a human being, and as such have an equal potention for good and evil. Each person have their personality, belonging to a minority does not make anyone automatically a saint.

"Do not say, write or post anything which you be ashamed if it came out in public" - What is written, said or posted have not return; it will be a full meal for those who want to destroy your public image. Only share things which you are not ashamed of, regardless of how weird they are. Write, speak and post with care, thinking about it; avoid at all cost ambiguities and long texts as they open breaches which can be used against you.

"Stay friend of people who are a positive example, not negative" - Avoid friendship with quizzical, victimist, fanatically religious or political people and the like. You will will become a worst person or at least will stay still in life. Be friends with people who inspire you to be better both in the professional and in person, which in exchange you inspire them in the future creating a virtuous circle. There are no perfect people, but search for those who ate least try to be.

"Before being optimist, prepare for the worst" - Always have a plan B and even a plan C in case what you want to do fails; only then allow yourself to expect the best.

"Know the difference between good humor and disrespect" - A great flaw in Brazil. The real good humor do not need to reduce innocent people for a personal and selfish personal gratification, the real humor makes people laugh in an intelligent manner and is never rude. Who disrespect others without provocation do not respect himself, they ignore their flaws but focus on the flaws of others, and you do not want that kind of "friendship".

"Avoid friendship with people without a greater purpose" - People without a greater purpose do not proceed neither rewinds, for such a person anything is fine. They will always be still and will contribute in nothing for your progress.

"Seek perfection, even if it cannot be reached" - By doing so, you will be respecting both others and yourself; will always be searching to be a better person and professional.

"Do not worry about writting perfectly" - Every human being have the capacity to interpret something which was written, not always the problem will be you having written something inefficiently. If someone does not bother to really read what you wrote, not caring about interpreting it, understanding something literally and usually in a negative way, such a person simply have something against you.

"Know when you are better than someone, that is not shameful" - Other bad teaching from religion is the concept of humility. At first it is good, but usually it is distorted in a way which someone demands humility from you but is not humble themselves. Sometimes you are simply better than someone in something, like for example morality, and you should be happy with that and not ashamed. On the other side, know which someone will always be better than you.

"When a person do not like you, in ambiguos situations it will expect the worst from you instead of the best" - Be it in writting, speech or posts in genral; if something end up becoming ambiguous, the person who do not liked you will understand it in the worst way possible. Ambiguity is an excellent way of detecting and taking such people out of your life. Who likes you will understand the best, will not say anything or will at least ask you about what you meant with something.

"When in doubt about something ambiguous, ask" - It is a gesture of respect asking if you really understood correctly something written or said in an ambiguous manner, sometimes it also avoids conflicts.

"Avoid writting, speaking or doing something when you are not well" - Like others give what their heart is full of, if you write, speak or do something while your heart is negative you will contaminate more and more what you want to convey, leading even to conflicts.

"Do fear being yourself, but do not reveal everything to others" - Some things are better kept to yourself, as people who do not like you will use them against you.

"Be careful to not keep a friendship seeing ony its benefits while ignoring the bad side" - It is uncommon for someone to be purely evil, even assassins have their gentle side for people who are not their prey. Sometimes the good side of someone makes you ignore their negative side, but if that bad side is too great, it is best to search for people with more positivity and negativity, for your own good.

"Sometimes to pre-judge is the best option, listen to your intuition" - Sometimes you will think which someone is weird, and sometimes such a person indeed has very dark side and if you interact with such a person enough you will see it. We do not live in a mental ponyland, avoid pre-judging, but avoid not listening to your intuition, it is your intuition which will tell the real nature of things.

"Do not mistake being professional with being successful as a human being" - Being good in business does not mean someone is a good person. Search only for who is both.

"You will only know the truth about someone when you disagree with such a person at least once" - It is easy to be polite when you do everything someone wants, but if you disagree with it and that person still remain your friend without going away or becoming distant, then you found yourself a potential real friend. It would be wise to creat one of two intentional situations of conflict to test the person, and if the person pass in the test, you can tell it which that was only a test.

"With each grain the chicken fills its belly" - unknown author - Set goals for yourself and do a little every day. As goals are finite, eventually you will achieve it as long as you do not stop.


Those are the hints which I remember for now. Come back later which perhaps there will be more.

Last Updated: 2022/02/13